Good News!

So, my midwife couldn’t get me in for an ultrasound at the local hospital for another two weeks.   She was able to get me an appointment in a few days off-island, but it would have been a major inconvenience, and I was absolutely terrified that I was having another ectopic pregnancy.  I literally felt like a ticking timebomb.  And so, I hightailed it over to the local Emergency Room.  Let me tell you, living in a small town is the bomb.  I got right in to a room, peed in a cup, gave about a million little containers of blod and had a pelvic exam within a half hour.  (No joke, but the did a pelvic to make sure that I am, in fact, bleeding from my cervix.  I kid you not, the nurse told me that I probably just had hemmorhoids.  LOL.)  After all that jazz, I was given 64 ounces of water to guzzle before my ultrasound.  It went down easy, but in 20 minutes time I was dying.  I knew I was going to pee my hospital gown.  I was pinching my peehole closed.  I was squeezing my legs together.  I was lying on my back, to reduce any further pressure on my bladder.  I could NOT hold it.  I ran out into the hall and told the nurse it was NOT going to happen and went into the bathroom and let a fair amount of pee out of bladder.  (Have you ever tried stopping in the middle of a big huge pee?  Not being able to fully empty your bladder is pretty painful.)  They gave me MORE water to drink and by the time I was in the ultrasound room, I knew I was going to lose it gain.  The tech touched the little thingy to my belly, jumped back and said “WOAH! Your bladder is FULL!  Go empty a bunch out!”  I was so relieved to hear this.  I went into the bathroom, and painfully emptied what I thought was half of my pee.  I came back and she resumed the ultrasound.  She laughed and said, “You still have so much in there!”  I felt like a freak.  What is wrong with my bladder?  How can 64 ounces of water go right through me like that? 

Anyway, back to the important part.  My HCG level is still indicating that I’m in my 5th week of pregnancy.  The ultrasound showed a gestational sac, but no visible baby or heartbeat.  This is normal for being only 5 weeks along.  So….I’ve got a very, very early pregnancy and IT’S IN MY UTERUS!  Wheeeee!

They weren’t able to figure out why I’m still bleeding, but I’m still pretty sure that it has to do wth the low progesterone issue.  The midwife has sent me some information on progesterone injections that I can give myself, but I just can’t do it.  I can’t.  I’m going to really regret it if I lose the pregnancy, I’m sure. 

I still am astonished that I’m only in the 5th week.  My cycle was so unbelievably wacky!  It’s absolutely insane. 

No major symptoms yet, except the fact that I need at least two power naps throughout the day to keep me going.

1 comment March 29, 2008

A Decision

I spoke too soon with that last post.  Tuesday night I had an episode of bright red bleeding, in which I said to myself, “Well then, this is it.  Here comes the blood.”  Well, it wasn’t it.  I’ve been doing nothing but spotting ever since. 

This morning I had some twinges in my left side.  I might be imagining things, but I don’t plan on messing around with any funny feelings in those regions.  Particularly in my left side, where I experienced my last ectopic pregnancy.

I’m getting ready to phone the midwife now, to set up an appointment.  My schedule is TIGHT and even if I find a time that will work, I have to bring three kids to my vaginal ultrasound.  Ugh. Seriously.

1 comment March 27, 2008

Bear with me here

I’m housesitting for my parents for 2.5 weeks while they are in Turkey, and I’m not getting the greatest connection at their house.  Also, I’ll just be terribly busy until they return. 

 Still no spotting.  No symptoms other than an occasional odd feeling in my breasts.  It almost feels like I’m full of milk, but I know that’s not the case, since Rylan keeps saying “This one’s all gone.”  I’m terrible (absolutely horrible) at getting enough water, and Rylan has hardly even nursed at all for the past 2 days, so I’m thinking my supply is probably going to plummet real fast.  That might be okay with me.  I could do without a UTI though, I’ll tell ya that. 

I’m waiting for the morning sickness.  I keep thinking to myself, “Maybe it will skip me over this time!” but I know that it won’t.  Trust me.  It won’t.  According to my LMP, I’m nearly 7 weeks, but luckily, due to the whacked ovulation, I’m still in the 5th week.  Which means I still have some time to get my life in order before my head lives in the toilet bowl.

 Gotta run.

1 comment March 26, 2008

Good News

Happy Easter!

My sister has been here, so I haven’t had much time to blog.  But here’s the news…

 My HCG count on Friday was 836.  More than double!  My midwife sounded pretty surprised.  The OB said that it was still possible for the numbers to double and be an ectopic, but I’m really not worried about it.  I think that if it was another ectopic, I would already be feeling some twinges of pain.  I have told the midwife that this is IT for me–no more hospitals, no more doctors, no ultrasounds.  After all, it’s my *natural* pregnancy, not my medically controlled pregnancy.  I’ve had enough of it in the last week to last me a lifetime.  I choose to listen to my body and trust it.  I can do that, I know I can.  And so, I’m waiting this thing out. 

I stood in the shower last week, shortly after I had gotten that first positive pregnancy test.  Because I had been spotting, a woman on a messageboard had told me that she was sending me white light.  I imagined this, my body and my baby-to-be wrapped up in warm, pure white light.  I told myself that everything was going to be fine.  I felt so peaceful after that, so sure of myself, before a lab result and an arrogant obstetrician completely threw me off course. 

 Anyway, the part that DOES worry me, is that (as I suspected), my progesterone is on the low side (15.6).  Everything I’ve read online says that your level shouldn’t be lower than 10-12, but my midwife said that she does like to see it higher (around 25.)  I’ve been using natural progesterone cream, but she doesn’t feel like it makes a significant difference.  She said that if I chose to do so, she could come over and give me some progesterone shots that I could give myself.  She said they’re a bitch to give, but they could help.  I read a little bit on them, and decided against them.  For all I know, I could have had low progesterone through the last three pregnancies and everything was perfect.

Also, as if by magic, my spotting stopped completely after I received the news of my blood test.  It hasn’t returned yet.

The midwife and I think that I probably ovulated super late, and I’m closer to 5 weeks than 6.  I don’t know how it possibly could have happened.  It really feels like a miracle.

1 comment March 23, 2008

Rollercoaster Ride

So yesterday I went in for my first blood test.  My midwife called me and said that my number was 291, which she said was too low for how far along I should be.  She basically told me that I should be expecting either a regular miscarriage or a possible ectopic.  I had an ectopic pregnancy eight years ago.  My left tube ruptured and I was rushed into emergency surgery, where my OB was miraculously able to repair my tube.  Having had a previous ectopic, I’m at a higher risk category to have another. 

I was pretty much devastated.  I drank myself into oblivion, thinking that my long awaited pregnancy was over,  and I waited for blood. 

This morning, I got another call from my midwife.  She said that she knew a great OB an hour and a half away from my home that had ultrasound equipment that might be able to detect an ectopic pregnancy this early.  She asked them to squeeze me in and I hightailed it all the way down there.  The doctor came in and told me that if it was an ectopic pregnancy, he wouldn’t see anything on the ultrasound until my HCG reached 2,000.  He told me that with 13 days of spotting, he expects a miscarriage.  He was a complete jerk as well.  He told me that there was no way I could have had a tubal pregnancy as early as I did.  He asked, “Are you SURE it was a tubal?  Did you see the PATHOLOGY? Did you see PICTURES?  I’m not trying to say your doctor lied to you, but it’s against standard practice to repair a tube.”  I was livid.  Yes, I saw pictures of the “product of my conception” and my wrecked fallopian tube.  I have laparoscopy scars to prove that it all occured and no, I’m not stupid.  I knew exactly what was going on.  This is why I will never see an OB again. 

So interestingly enough, I checked the internet today for normal HCG levels and surprise, surprise, 291 is on the low side, but still considered “normal” for my time frame.  Ummmm?  Nevertheless, I *have* been experiencing some mild cramping, so who knows.

 My next blood test is tomorrow morning.  We shall see. 

Add a comment March 21, 2008

Time to call in the lab techs

5 weeks, 3 days. 

Well hmmph.  I now have three tests, all taken 48 hours apart, with morning urine.  The line from today’s test is darker, but not as dark as I hoped it would be.  I’ve been told that this is really a very inaccurate way of figuring out what’s going on.  I understand that, I do.  I just felt like it may give SOME sort of indication whether I have a disappearing pregnancy or what.  Apparently, it’s not giving me the information I need.

It’s now at that point where I really do just need to get some blood tests taken.  I had an ectopic pregnancy in March of 2000, and ignored the symptoms for several weeks until my fallopian tube burst and I found myself bleeding internally in the ER.  I do NOT want that happening again.  So not cool.  In fact, excruciating.  The worst health related experience of my entire life. 

So, I’ve called my midwife, and the tests are being ordered.  I’ll keep you updated. 

Add a comment March 18, 2008

Limbo land

Well, yesterday I had an episode of bright red bleeding.  I was pretty sure early miscarriage was imminent.  I took another test this morning.  It looks pretty much the same, which isn’t so reassuring.  I was hoping that either the line would be lighter, or darker (giving me SOME sort of indication of what is happening.)  It would be my luck that the tests are nearly identical.  At this point, I’m starting to think about having my blood taken to test the HCG and/or progesterone levels.  At the very least, it could give me some information regarding the possibility of low progesterone (which I have suspected for some time now) and help me STAY pregnant in the future. 

Cycle Day 37 or

5 weeks, 1 day pregnant

Add a comment March 16, 2008